Although it is kinda mean, this page is made for ‘noobs’. It is a bit like the non-members page, although it is more aimed at the ‘noobs’ themselves. Noob/Newb means a newcomer, somebody who ‘is not used to the common nature within the atmosphere’ whatever that means. So, before I show the ‘Noob guide’, you’re thinking ‘Am I a noob?’ Well, take this ‘test’ and find out…
Are YOU a noob?
1- Have you recently joined CP, if YES read on… (if you don’t know what CP stands for on the spot, read on…)
2- Do you have ANY inventory? If NO, or VERY VERY little, read on.
3- Do you have only 0-10 buddies, or in a different case, 70-100? If ‘YES’, read on…
If YES, or YES to similar questions, then…
WELL DONE, YOU ARE A NOOB!
Now you are a noob, here is how to STOP being a noob…
1. Talk to anybody before adding them to your buddy list. DO NOT just send them postcards, and make sure you have a proper conversation, not like, ‘Wanna go to the pizza parlor?’ (until you are proper friends, of course.)
2. Get cash, even if you are not a member, it’s worth it. Buy two puffles, feed ‘em, buy ALL colours, and ALL current backgrounds.
3. Keep up to date. Read the newspaper and go to any parties. Get free items, and WEAR THEM.
4. Don’t listen to rumors, you CANNOT tip the iceberg, ninjas DO NOT currently exist, and you CANNOT go to Rockhopper island (more on ‘Rockhopper’ to come…).
5. Glitches are NOT rumors, and you must learn some. Don’t ask a penguin ‘How do you do that?’, (see our ‘Glitches’ page on ‘how to…’)
6. Rockhopper is not Mr. Magic Man. Yes, you are lucky if you see him, but he is a mere simulation, meaning he is like a robot programed into Club Penguin. He may respond to certain pharses, but ALWAYS in full punctuation. (Rockhopper is a penguin pirate who comes every now and again.)
7. I hope any noobs have understood, and are now de-noobed.
Thank you noobs, and feel free to comment (yes, I know this page is weird!)
